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Cardinal Points

~ Poetry By Sandra Sidman Larson

Cardinal Points

Category Archives: Politics

Wearing Pink in Glen Ridge, New Jersey–My Hometown

16 Wednesday Nov 2011

Posted by Sandra Sidman Larson in Childhood, Politics, Whistling Girls and Cackling Hens chapbook

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Tags

sex

Nothing important happened in my hometown.
Well, nothing ever happened that anyone was willing to talk
about to Catholics, newcomers or children. Nor did I gather
useful information eaves dropping
at my parents’ parties from the top of the stairs
on Saturday nights when I was just a child.
Have you heard the one about two poops in a baby buggy?
The Dow looks a bit shaky, time to put. (Or was it call?)
The suit collection at Best & Company is very classic this fall.
Martini straight up or on the rocks?
The Colored are getting closer.
It nothing you could put in your pipe and smoke—
Two hearts, three clubs, I pass.

As I got older, Italians moved in.
On our annual tour to see our neighbors’ Christmas lights,
we came upon one yard with masses
of multicolored bulbs strung out
across the roof like guy wires from a circus tent.
Blinking, twinkling lights ran from the eaves in all directions
with red-nosed reindeer everywhere. A giant, lit-up
Santa sat smack in the middle of the yard.
Will you look at that! Mother exclaimed.
So garish! Must be Italians. I countered,
Well, you can’t be sure just because of what’s on their lawn.
She had the perfect reply. Oh no? Well, look over there,
isn’t that the Virgin Mary?

As Congregationalists or Episcopalians, we took it
as our religious obligation to be rational in my home town.
Who then would spend money to buy a Cadillac
when Lincolns were so much more tasteful?
In mys enior year my boyfriend Jack Cuozzo (be careful,
they are so hot-blooded) created the most lasting incident
when his taste was called into question.
Jack came to school wearing a pink, buttoned-down shirt.
Mr. Black, the principal sent him home and posted signs
on the trophy cases on every floor which read:
Male students are expected to dress appropriately.
No pink is permitted!

The next day almost to a person, our class showed up
wearing something pink and Dr. Cuozzo called
the principal and brought in his attorney,
so Jack was back. Mr. Black watched helplessly
at graduation as we walked in, the class of 1955,
flourishing a banner fashioned in pink and black.
Some years later we heard he called us
the worst class to graduate from Glen Ridge High School.
By now I think they’ve altered that opinion
since my hometown has become famous for the high school jocks
who raped the neighborhood retarded girl
with a broom handle and most of the town thought,
or so I’ve heard, it was a scandal and a shame those boys
had to do some time in prison when the parents were willing
to pay the girl’s doctor bills. Wasn’t it best just not to talk about it?
My God, these boys were college bound!

Not many residents were very interested in giving information
to reporters or willing to search out a wider point of view.
I wonder what my parents would have thought
about this incident, but they are both dead,
and I never said anything to them, anyhow,
before they died, about what I learned sitting
at the top of the stairs on Saturday nights
when I was just a child.

Published in Whistling Girls and Cackling Hens, Sandra Larson, Pudding House Chapbook Series, 2003

The Distance of Trouble

14 Monday Nov 2011

Posted by Sandra Sidman Larson in Childhood, Grief, Over a Threshold of Roots, Politics

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You could hear them screaming or moaning in flight, and…

Jim McKee, Sergeant, Rifle Co. K., 3rd Battalion, 12th Regiment,
4th Division, June 5, 1944 (D-Day)

She was uncomfortable in Charlie’s Butcher Shop, and with Charlie
in his blood-mottled apron. She wondered if the Japs
wore the same kind of aprons when they slaughtered
innocent babies; but now that she’d seen the strung-up bodies
of Mussolini and his mistress in the newsreels, the carcasses
of beef hanging behind the counter disturbed her even more.

At home she’d help her mother twist the orange pill,
squeeze its juices through the pliable body of white oleo,
yellowing the stick to the color of bees. Longing
for butter, she would never eat anything on her bread.

Once a week she and her other classmates
carried blankets, pillows and books into the basement
to wait, hoping to be lucky and have lunch
after the air raid drills were over. Sometimes she worried
she might have to live there with only kindergartners
for sisters and brothers, her teacher for a mother.

In the middle of the night, more sirens, but no Screaming Meanies.*
From her bedroom window she looked into the lamp-less night,
prayed the Nazis were as far away as the end of
the alphabet with their V-1 rockets and U-2 boats, and
that her father, dressed in his khaki Civilian Defense uniform
carrying a Billy club and flashlight, could stop them.

She listened both night and day for the sounds of boots
tromping like rows of heavy geese, leathered feet to the ground,
until she heard the news—Hitler had killed himself
in an underground fort dug for him by his evil friends.

Her parents took her off to camp, said she should stop
worrying about the war; yet along the road there were
billboards picturing fanged men with visor caps
set atop slit-like eyes, arms raised with knives
poised to open the stomachs of tiny babies.

In her cabin, she swatted mosquito after mosquito
and itched the red swellings on her limbs, she
wondered about the Japanese—how they ate
with those large buck teeth and where they were hiding
until she heard a mushroom cloud carried them away
and she saw the giant heads of monster clouds
on the front page of the newspaper.

She wasn’t sure if these events had anything to do
with bodies that looked like pick-up sticks
which had turned up at strange places called
Auschwitz and Buchanwald.

She wondered if the war would ever end, or
just continue running right along side her
and all the other campers. But one bright
Sunday morning, a counselor from Cabin One,
breathless, ran up the path gasping, shrieking;

The war is over!
The emperor has surrendered!
The war is over!

In that royal moment of relief
as they danced and jumped and hugged,
she didn’t realize the world’s grief,
sooner or later, would catch up with them;
nor did she realize then that war was never
going to run out of breath.

*” Screaming Meenies” were German rocket guns, “Nebelwerfers” mounted on a halftrack that fired in clusters of six or twelve, a second and a half apart.

The Japanese surrender on August 1, 1945 thus bringing World War II to a close.

Published Over A Threshold of Roots, Sndra Larson, Pudding House Chapbook Series, 2007

Etiquette at Nana’s House

14 Monday Nov 2011

Posted by Sandra Sidman Larson in Childhood, Politics, Whistling Girls and Cackling Hens chapbook

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flowers

for Blanche Rice

this is dedicated to all the Black women riding on buses
and subways back
and forth to the MainLine, Haddonfield, N.J., Cherry Hill…
This is for the Black Back-Ups…
This is for my mama and your mama…
And the colored girls say
Do dodo do do…
Kate Ruskin, The Black-Backups

The bell gave a sharp buzz in the pantry when Nana pressed a button
under the dining room table. In response, Blanche would come out
of the kitchen. She entered the dining room, her lips pressed into a question
and returned to deliver entrees for answers. Surrounded by porcelain plates
and heavy silverware, she was always in her eyelet-trimmed apron and green
uniform which reminded me of spinach. Before dessert, I’d escape
the dining room, return to the kitchen to help her with the undressing of dinner.

Miz Sanny Jane (she always prefaced her remarks with a swipe at the wisps
of her black hair blanching at herorehead). Mercy, mercy she’d exclaim.
She could see me standing there, in a happy place, complaining. Miz Sanny Jane, ain’t you go no worries bigger than that to cry about, girl? I knew hers were long enough to reach the sky. I knew they couldn’t be put in my pocket.
At dinner I carried the silver pitcher into the dining room and tried
not to spill her out. When she went into the garden

to cut grandfather’s peonies, I’d run to take her hand, plead with her
to go down to the brook with me, but, Mercy, mercy, Child, ain’t got no time.
I wanted to know why we couldn’t invite her to our house for dinner.
So what’s wrong with Negroes
? A pause, Blanche is not like the others,
she knows her place
, Nana said.

On Sundays, with her dark hands floured to kneed the dough, she pressed down hard. She cracked the fine eggs just so and scrambled her obligations into small clumps. I took them for love. She was my sidewise grandmother. But where
does she go by bus?
When does she go to church if she comes to us on Sundays? And who takes care of her children while she takes care of us?
Does she have a husband? And who tends her garden and scrubs her floor?

Nana never answered. These questions left without a sound, left with Blanche
on the bus.

Published in Over A Threshold of Roots, Sandra Larson, Pudding House Chapbook Series, 2007

 

 

Whistling Girls and Cackling Hens Always Come to Some Bad End

13 Sunday Nov 2011

Posted by Sandra Sidman Larson in Childhood, Politics, Whistling Girls and Cackling Hens chapbook

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– one of my mother’s frequent admonitions

If whistling girls might escape aprons
like my mother wore
and large breasts like Jane Russell’s,
I thought I might practice more.
And Eva Braun hadn’t whistled enough
was my sneaking suspicion, dying
in that bunker with the evil one.

When I whistled, I pursed my lips
and tried to blow
air out so hard
that they never looked as soft
as the overblown ones
of Rita Hayworth.

I whistled and whistled. Summers
I slipped into jeans,
went bare-chested,
rode horses on Uncle Hap’s farm
where the sweet smell of hay,
like the horses themselves,
rushed out when the latch was lifted
and the barn door swung wide.
I galloped into a blaze
of restless dandelions.

When I noticed swelling
behind my nipples,
I upped the volume of my whistling,
but Mother told me, finally,
I had to wear a shirt.
I still held out a stubborn hope
that when I grew up I’d be free
to ride the mountain trails
where water rushed and changed, but
like me, kept its own sounds,
its own shape.

Whistling Girls and Cackling Hens, by Sandra Sidman Larson, Pudding House Publications, Columbus, Ohio, 2003

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